That Fateful Day
by Angel-of-Energy
Summary: I am not insane, so I don't know why everyone is telling me otherwise. What, am I insane that I let go? I am not insane; I am strong.


**Okay, this is my first Codename Kids Next Door fic. I am just in LOVE with 86/60 so this is what happens ^.^ I hope you enjoy my first oneshot!**

I am not insane. Insane people can't let go of the things they have. Insane people hold on to the good times. They hold onto people. They hold onto fantasies. Insane people keep living in their dreams; hoping… waiting…. watching, for something that won't-_ can't _happen. But, I, my friend, let go. I don't live in my fantasies. I live in my sad, sad reality- even if I don't want to. So I honestly don't know why people say I'm insane for just 'letting it happen'. What was I supposed to do? I am not insane.

I remember it like it was yesterday. In fact, I don't even remember how I got this memory back… I think I was a dream. It all started last December…. when I was to be decommissioned. I knew, as all KND operatives knew, that it was bound to happen. I even drilled this thought into my pupils' minds; I didn't want any rogues from my team. Anyway, when that fateful day of my 13th birthday came, I knew I was going to lose it all- all my memories, all my friends, everyone in the KND. I toughened myself up at the Arctic Base for this day, before I went up to the moonbase. Looking in the mirror, I took deep breaths, telling myself it was okay. One of the sprout operatives came and informed me that I should go, if I'd wanted to make it on time. I knew they were looking for any signs of rebellion, resistance, anything- but I wasn't. What good would that do? Then I'd only become an enemy to the organization I loved most, ally to who I hated most- teens. So, I calmly said a "Thanks Numbuh 68" and walked past him. I could feel all the stares on my back as I walked passed my operatives. I could even see a few with a downcast faces (whom I smiled at, to lift their spirits). I mean, their 'Leader' was being decommissioned; I guess they were right to be sad I kept my face forward. It was so quiet, that I could hear the echo of my boots against the metal floor. I didn't like it; There was tension in the air, with a very thick layer of silence. It was unusual, normally there'd be a busy hum of work, where I would have to tell them to get back to work. Not today, though; everyone was silently watching as I boarded the rocket to take me to moonbase.

The whole way there, I tried not to focus on what was going to happen when I got there; instead, I filled my mind with happy thoughts from the KND. Some were even just faces of the people I'd miss the most; a lot of the images were of a certain orange-haired, short-tempered, Irish girl that I'd grown fond of, even though we fought.

I didn't even notice the moonbase until someone came up and tapped on the window. I was so busy thinking of all the good times. The face in the window was sorrowful; I guess they were going to be escorting me down to the decommissioning chamber. I stepped out.

"Hello. I am Numbuh 72. I will be your escort." He said. He had blonde hair with a baby blue shirt and jeans. I just nodded my head and allowed him to lead me. He kept glancing back at me, as if making sure I didn't make a move to run away.

So I finally spoke up, "I'm not going to run away, you know. I didn't spend like 4 years here for nothing." I said. He looked alarmed and replied with,

"Oh no, Mr. Numbuh 60 sir. It's just that, you're so strong and we don't want to take any chances….." he trailed off, looking down at his shoes uncomfortably. I smiled and said,

"Hey, I get it." He just smiled shyly, until he stopped, looked ahead and that mournful expression returned to his face.

"Uh, here we are, sir… I'm sorry…" and he turned and walked away. I took a deep breath and steeped into the room.

"Numbuh 86?" I called. It was silent for a few moments, before I got the irritated response,

"What is it?" she said, coming around the corner. She looked really annoyed. "Numbuh 60? What the hay'r ya doin' here, stupid boy?" she asked. I looked confused, and responded

"Didn't you look at the files?" She shook her head no.

"Well, for your information, Ah had other things to do today besides look at files! Now, Ah'll ask again: what'r ya doin' here?" I could hear the irritation rising, but it had a hint of something else…. Sadness? Like she was figuring it out.

"Well, I'm here to be decommissioned." I said. For some, unknown reason, I was smirking. Maybe because she really didn't know? The shock was written clear over her face. Then, a mix of emotions appeared on her face; surprise, anger, annoyance, and sadness being the dominant one.

"Oh, are ye? Well, let's get to it then…." She trailed off, avoiding my gaze. I calmly walked over and sat in the chair.

"Hey, Num…. Fanny?" I asked. Where was I going with this? She was obviously surprised at the use of her real name, because she turned around, and raised a brow.

"Don't call meh that." Was all she said. I smirked. This may be the last time I ever got with the brooding mistress. Why not make the most of it?

"Fanny." She glared at me. "No? How about Fan-Fan?" She growled menacingly, trying to intimidate me. But I wasn't scared, I'd dealt with her before. "Hmm…. Fracesca?" **(A/N: I always imagined that to be her name, so if it's really Francine, oh well.) **She had fury in her eyes.

"Don't. Go. There!" she nearly screamed. "No one calls meh by mah real name!" she seethed. I put on puppy eyes and pouted.

"Please, for me, Fanny? On my last day?" I asked. I saw her eyes soften, and sadness take over again. She turned away. I knew she hated this job. Even Fanny hated taking away wonderful memories from innocent children. She had a heart, despite what everyone thought. But I had gotten to know the real Fanny. Through our fights, I saw her other emotions, besides anger. I knew that the irritation she put on was half a façade, and I knew there was a reason for it. I just didn't know what. I decided, right then and there, that that would be my last mission. I heard her sigh with a low 'fione.' I smiled in triumph.

"Hey, Fanny…. Since I'm going to lose all my memories anyway," -I saw her stiffen- "can you answer a question for me?" She turned back around, contemplating; she was looking at me with a skeptical eye, hands on the table behind her. I saw her sigh in defeat. Her eyes were clouded, and she looked up at me.

"Fione. But just one."

"And you promise you'll answer it, no matter what?"

"Yes, yes! Just ask it. Ah've….. ah've got a job to do." She said the last part quietly, looking down. When she 'composed' herself, she looked back up at me.

"Okay, okay. So… why do you keep yourself guarded?" before she could deny it, I quickly added, "I see it. Only half of that anger is real. It's a mask." She looked shocked; she certainly wasn't expecting that. She almost started yelling, but caught herself. The anger died down.

"You're the only one who really got to know meh, Patton…." She started off quietly. "Ah… Ah don't know. Ah figured, if Ah just kept to myself, and set the expectations low for everyone about meh, Ah wouldn't really have to worry about anyone except mahself. Then Ah wouldn't need acceptance from anyone. When Ah was younger, Ah wasn't very well liked. Ah don't know why. Ah didn't want that to happen again." She explained.

"Well, you kind of set that up for yourself here, Fanny…." I said. She nodded her head, as if she knew. Then, she started walking towards me, and stopped right before my legs. "Promise me, Numbuh 86, that you'll actually try to be more likable. I do want people to be your friend." I said, my eyes boring into hers. She nodded,

"Ah promise, Patton." And with that, she strapped my hands in. Before she turned around, she gave me a light kiss on my cheek, and flipped the switch. The last words I heard were, "Ah'm sorry Patton, goodbah…" in a shaky voice. I closed my eyes and calmed myself as the plunger came towards me, and my last known thought was….

"Goodbye, Fanny."

So, now I ask, why do they call me crazy? Because I let go? Because I didnt fight for her? But, you need to understand; if I had fought for her, she would have hated me, for resisting, for being a rebel. If I didn't let go, I wouldn't be a happy person. I'm still upset, believe me, but I'm happier. Even if I had fought for her, it would be in vain, because she would eventually have to be decommissioned too, and I'm sure as hell that she wouldn't rebel, just for me. I'm sure that the crazy, insane people are the ones that couldn't let go. Couldn't let their friends be happy. The ones who resisted. The ones that were too weak to let go, so they held onto the only thing they ever had, scared to make it for themselves in life. Well, I'm strong. I had the strength to let go; because sometimes, it takes strength to _let go_, for the good of yourself and everyone else, rather than _hold on. _So let me ask again; who's insane?

**Yeahh. So that was my first oneshot for this show. It's a little angsty, I know, but that's just what came to my mind. Tell me how it was! Like it? Love it? Hate it? Wish the Lochnesss monster would come up and swallow it? Tell me in the reviews! Any suggestions or tweaks are appreciated, too. Thank you! **


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